'Don't be a fop,' says the voice of Hop.

'Don't be a fop,' says the voice of Hop.

The Twittersphere is abuzz with news that Pia Toscano got voted off the show. At least one person is ashamed to be American because the Barbie-like contestant got the boot. Well, she can wipe her tears away, because Sweet Baby James was safe.

No, the real shocker of the evening was when actor Russell Brand came in to give some tips to contestants on how to be a celebrity. Durbin asked him about moves on stage—as if he really needs any lessons—and we got a little lecture on the importance of the front (probably, a British term for crotch).

But then Mr. Brand had some advice for James. Reflecting back on when Durbin met Hulk Hogan, he compared him to a pre-pubescent girl meeting Justin Bieber for the very first time. OMG. Apparently, that is less than cool, especially for a rocker dude … especially for a guy with a wife and kid at home. Go figure.

And yet the video bore this out. James was, indeed, more than a little starstruck. Let’s face it. Iggy Pop (who appeared on last night’s show) would never have skipped and giggled like James did, and Iggy Pop is pretty cool. So are Pete Townsend and Keith Richards, and they do not skip and giggle either. Even Simon Cowell would not stoop that low.

So, James, leave the skipping and the giggling for Seacrest, and get in touch with your rocker persona. “To thine own self be true,” Polonius advised, unless thine own self is a 12-year-old girl.

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