How sad it is that His Royal Highness died and your country will not allow you to inherit his vast fortune.
Dear Princess Doumba…
First of all, let me tell you how honored I am that someone like you–royalty!–contacted me via email. How sad it is that His Royal Highness died and your country will not allow you to inherit his vast fortune. As his daughter, you rightfully deserve it!Rest assured, you made an excellent choice when you chose me out of over 300 million Americans to “assist” you in “lifting” almost $5 million out of Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, and into to my personal checking account. I will indeed help you invest it wisely. As a professional dog sitter, I understand the intricacies of the American monetary system and its many options for making money grow. I understand that derivatives are big right now. I don’t know what they are, but I think we should put at least half of your fortune into one or two ASAP! And, you want to give me 20 percent of yours just because I am willing to help you?? Forget it–I would not dream of accepting money for being what we call in my country a “Good Samaritan.”
You obviously chose me over everyone else because you intuitively knew I was trustworthy and possessed remarkable integrity. So, do what your heart so clearly demands: Wire me $3,500 via Western Union so I can buy a plane ticket to Africa and meet with you personally!! We shall have lunch together and plan how to get your wealth to America so it can grow, grow, grow! You are probably surprised there are honest people like me still around. But know that I do this because I’m just that kind of person: always looking for ways to help others.
In closing, Princess, know that I stand ready to do anything I can to help you get justice (and $5 million). I will check with Western Union daily to see if you have taken your first step towards building an even vaster fortune. Can’t wait to meet you!!!!
Your humble servant,
Kelly Luker
Kelly Luker, a former journalist, owns Little Pup Lodge (www.LittlePupLodge.com), a cage-free boarding facility exclusively for small dogs
