Theoretically, American Idol did a good thing last night—it put James right at the beginning and then again, right at the end. In a perfect world, it meant that I could have catnapped for an entire hour between the two performances. Unfortunately, this is when people must keep their eyes fully on the competition, and so the catnap was a little less restful. Oh, those sneaky, sly producers! No wonder they get the big bucks.
So what happened? Well, it seems that James learned that you not only have to woo your audience. You have to woo your judges too. He did just that, and quite cleverly. He knew that he could never pull off a J-Lo song. Frankly, he just isn’t as pretty, and would not have looked good in a skin-tight cat suit. Nor would he sound good singing Selena. He just doesn’t have the accent. Chalk one up for wooing his audience.
Steven Tyler didn’t have to be wooed, because the bad boy of rock is proving himself to be a good boy on Idol, all sunshine and puppies and positive comments (or, as Tyler would like to put it, sunshine and effing puppies, but Fox will have none of that).
That leaves Randy Jackson. Of course! Randy Jackson likes to remind people that for a (very) brief period from 1985 to 1987, he played bass with the band Journey. On goes James’ Journey T-shirt. And if Randy likes Journey, he must like lead singer Steve Perry, who often wore a jacket with tails at performances. On goes James’ jacket with tails.
But what song could he possibly sing? It had to be a hit. It had to be iconic. It had to be inspiring. It had to be so well known that even the kids on Glee would sing it. And bonus points for a song representing his NorCal roots—and an underdog rally anthem to boot. “Don’t Stop Believing” it is. James started his performance of the SF Giants 2010 World Series theme song by calling on the audience to sing along. “C’mon Randy! I know you know the words …” Randy was ecstatic. In fact, he looked like he’d been locked up all night in a cupcake factory. James set the bar.
Haley was next, and she came on with a growl, as she always does. She sang Michael Jackson’s “Earth Song,” which was not a big hit with J-Lo and Randy, but Haley just growled at them too. Then came the Howdy Doody puppet boy Scotty McCreery with “Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning,” and lots of lines about America and Jesus. He was taking a lesson from Newt Gingrich by wooing his base. Then came Lauren Alaina, apparently. Naptime.
But it wasn’t over yet. That was just the halfway mark.
The rest of the show was mentored by Lady Gaga who showed them how to do the Lieber and Stoller songbook. She was impressed by Haley and told her to put some emotion into her growl. She did, so that “I Who Have Nothing” had a little something to it.
Then it was time for Scotty to come face-to-face with Gaga, or as his pastor calls her, the devil in drag. Thank God for the crucifix hanging from his neck. Country Clean boy looked a little startled at the very suggestion that he put his mouth up to the mic like he was ramming his tongue down his girlfriend’s throat. My guess is that he went to James later for a full explanation of what Gaga was talking about, though all we saw was him kissing his cross and praying not be left behind when the Rapture finally comes. Then came Lauren Alaina. Naptime.
After my little Lauren Alaina snooze, I was wide awake to see the interplay between an idealistic young Durbin and Gaga. He sang a rocked-out version of “Love Potion #9,” and the Lady was duly impressed. The problem was that he made a slight mistake and closed his eyes as he sang. When he opened them again, Lady G was right behind engaged in a bizarre quasi-sexual act, which she described as “getting him to sway his hips like Elvis.” Is that what they’re calling it these days?
James may not have swayed his hips on stage, but he did give a rocking performance that will certainly earn him a place in the top three. Get ready, Santa Cruz. Sweet Baby James is coming home!
But not all is well in Durbinland. It seems like the paparazzi and the gossipmongers are having a little go at him.
On Wednesday, the Sentinel covered a whole slew of people who had some tenuous connection to James. One person missing from the action was his former stepfather, who was evidently holding out for the big bucks and eventually sold a story to the tabloid Star. They once portrayed Durbin as a “secret softy” (and he does look good in ruffles and a powdered wig), but now that fame and fortune are right around the corner, the tabloid is going for broke.
According to VotefortheWorst.com (which gives some of the best Idol coverage out there), the Star is featuring a cover story headlined “Idol James Durbin Held Knife to Child’s Throat.” According to James’s former stepfather, when James was young, he would hold a knife up to his throat and threaten to commit suicide. On a number of occasions, or so the article apparently claims, he held a knife up to the throat of his stepbrother too.
Headlines aside, the story seems to sensationalize some obscure incident about a troubled teen who’d just lost his father under difficult circumstances, was dealing with Asperger’s and Tourette’s, and who was being bullied in school. That hardly makes him the kind of psycho who would feature on last night’s episode of Law and Order: SVU. What it does say is that James is the kind of person who may have had a troubled past but made good. If VotefortheWorst was rating that article, it should probably give it an F.
