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5 Steps To Connect

(831) 419-5459 | Website
145 Riviera Dr, Aptos, CA 95003 | Directions
Hours: Mon-Sat:9:00 am - 9:00 pm/

Tags: ability connection, Conflict Resolution, connect, Life Coaching For Single Parents, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, parent education, parent workshops, parenting, parenting classes, parenting teens, Aptos, Education, Families, Other Schools & Classes, Self Help Classes, Children's Storytelling

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About 5 Steps To Connect

Parent Coaching to Connect to Your Strong Willed Child.

I am a Parent Coach, a working mom of two daughters in a quiet town in California. For years I lived to be ‘successful’ at life as defined by our American culture. I achieved, but the cost was high: I was always thinking, figuring out how to optimize and get things done.

Then my daughter was born. She came out spirited and passionate, strong-willed and with her own way of doing everything. She never ever wanted to be told what to do; she was determined. However, I was competent and knew how to do everything the best way. We were on a collision course. How could I do my job as a good parent if teaching her the right way to do something would push her buttons and send her into a tantrum and fits of obstinance?!? I couldn’t see that learning was messy by definition and trying to control it was ridiculous. We would get into battles that were awful, intense, and scary. These interactions traumatized the whole family.

I developed survival tools I call the 5 Steps To Connect, a set of practices that allow me to prioritize self care, reclaim my emotions, stop taking things personally, deeply listen and set limits. These practices allow me to re-center during or after a reaction and connect in a deep, real way. Now I don’t just go through the motions, but live into and experience a full life.


I want to share the Five Steps To Connect because if I had kept going in my effective, efficient, killing it mindset, I wouldn’t have the relationships I do now with both of my daughters and my husband. I would have wasted precious time with them overly focused on accomplishing stuff and doing it right. Because when I was so focused on doing, I was trying to manage them. I was trying to make them into what I thought they ‘should’ be, what I ‘should’ be. I was caught in the fixed mindset of living ‘right’. I thought that being ‘successful’ and teaching them to be ‘successful’ was my main role as a woman, as a mom, but it wasn’t. It is modeling and living into the uncertainty that is humanness. And I couldn’t model what I didn’t have. So the first steps of the 5 Steps to Connect were mine.

The happy ending part is that the 5 Steps to Connect are things we can practice and it is never too late to connect with those we love. I was able to learn how, and you can too. The foundation was discovering I am worthy without doing or accomplishing anything. I learned how to be present and what the heck presence even was. How to slow down, have one-on-one time and really be there without thinking of other things at the same time. Most importantly, how to listen inward and hear who I really am.

I stumbled on big obstacles along the way as this is hard stuff; if it were easy we’d be doing it already. But the connection you yearn for is possible, take the first step.
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